I heard this kid exclaim, after a really hard SLAM of his toe into the rocking chair. He’s eight. He rammed his toe and let out the explanation,
I want to kill this chair!
His dad was nervous. You can’t say “Kill”, he thought, not around other people or other kids, not around me even…that’s a scary word and here my little boy is saying it, fuck, this is a real problem.
The real problem hasn’t happened yet. The real problem is about to happen. The real problems isn’t that an 8 year old exclaimed he wants to kill a chair. The real problem is the 40 year old thinking that his 8 year old is 40. The real problem is the adult, the father, thinking that his little boy understands words the way he does, understands concepts, understands theory and time and pain, the way the father does.
The father will now talk to his kid, now be wary of his kid, now look for other reasons why his child is maybe, what, violent? Maybe, what, mal-adjusted or even worse, maybe simply in need to being taught to supress his honest expression.
I thought to myself, what an honest assement of the situation by that little one. We all know the pain of stubbing our toe and we all have wanted to “Kill a chair” so let’s congratulate, in our own minds, the beauty and purity of such an expression, the clarity of vision, the accuracy. What causes a youngster to express so clearly and so accurately? Is it a good thing that causes this? I think so.
And what happens, if, when this good thing happens, you turn it into a bad thing, a thing to be ashamed of, fearful of? What happens when you turn good into shame?
What happens to your kid when you turn good, into shame?