There is a book titled “Something Wicked This Way Comes”. I’ve never read it but it’s always inspired a deep fear in me. In fact I think it’s one of the reasons I’m a writer. The power of those five words hit me a long time ago and have stuck with me ever since. Something wicked this way comes…wow!
I am not afraid in my mind. I connect with my heroic self and fear disolves, sometimes it never comes anymore. My heroic self is the part of me that learns to love itself.
My heroic self is the part of me that learns…to love…itself.
It’s heroic because it’s so alone.
It’s heroic because it’s so forgotten.
It’s heroic because it goes against most of what I’ve been taught.
My heroic self. The part of me that stands in the most hostile conditions of my own mind, amidst the din and pounding of shame, fear, anger, pride…my heroic self stands and recognizes itself as love. If my heroic self can stand in the conditions I create in my own darkness, well the world doesn’t stand a chance.
But that’s not how it feels.
I have to focus on my body to get it to calm down. My body is afraid. My body, my heart, my breath all racing. Part of my mind races also. And I have to talk to myself. I have to say to myself, to my heart and to my breath and to my mind…
I love you. You are me. I am you. We are together. You are not alone. We are better together, so let’s be together. When we are together fear cannot take hold the same way. And so I talk to myself and I tell myself we are here, together, we are one and that I love you.
This takes effort. It’s effort I have built to some extent but I have also been lazy, like an athlete who hasn’t trained enough but still must find a way through and compete. I will train more because this race is a serious race and people are depending on me and I do not want to let them down.
Something Wicked This Way Comes.